Module 1, E-Journal #2

 3. How your attitudes about diverse learners or communities have evolved.

 

• What assumptions or beliefs are being challenged for you?

I used to assume that students who were not yet proficient in English would naturally receive the extra support they needed outside of the classroom. I also believed that learning English had to come before they could fully participate in academic content. My experience as an aide challenged this belief. At the school where I worked, some students lost valuable instruction because of the idea that “the English will come later” (Nordmeyer). Research shows the opposite: “(R)esearch confirms that English learners develop English most effectively while also mastering knowledge, skills and literacies needed for college and career success” (Nordmeyer). Seeing this in practice made me realize that waiting for proficiency before including students is harmful. Not all schools provide designated ELD time, and those that don’t leave students further behind. This has shifted my attitude toward English learners—I now see inclusion and access to rigorous instruction as non-negotiable, regardless of language level.

• How has your perspective on just, equitable, and inclusive education shifted this week?

I was already familiar with deficit narratives, which assume that students who struggle with “academic” language lack intelligence or ability. Research shows this is not true: “Deficit views involve a narrow focus on what students do not have or cannot do, derived from a long-lived perspective that attributes the failure of individuals to internal or presumed deficiencies of their families and communities” (Wang et al., 2021). Growing up, I often heard teachers complain that students were lazy, careless, or destined for failure, and these messages shaped how I thought teachers viewed students, which made it hard for me to trust them.

This week, observing two contrasting middle school classrooms deepened my perspective. In one 7th grade class, the teacher ran a highly structured lesson without relying on Chromebooks and with traditional note-taking. He balanced strict routines with “house talk” that kept the atmosphere positive. When students acted out, he calmly asked them to step outside rather than sending them to the office, giving them agency to correct their behavior. His approach showed high expectations without assuming the worst of students, and the result was a respectful environment where students stayed engaged.

By contrast, in an 8th grade classroom, the teacher frequently raised his voice, relied on inconsistent systems, and punished behavior by lowering academic grades. Students were disengaged, restroom access was inequitable, and disruptive students were sent out without support, leaving them wandering campus. Female students in particular voiced frustration, sharing that they were penalized academically despite completing correct, timely work. His combative responses and grading practices reflected a deficit narrative—viewing difficult students as problems to manage rather than learners to support—which only deepened the cycle of disrespect and disengagement.

This contrast showed me that equitable teaching requires both structure and respect. Students are more likely to respond positively when teachers hold them accountable without humiliation or unfair penalties. I realized that demanding respect starts with showing respect, and that just classrooms are built on systems that prioritize student dignity, agency, and access to learning.

• How might this evolving awareness shape the way you think about and design lessons in your subject area?

I can apply what I learned from these contrasting classroom cultures to my own lesson design. Engaging, fun, and interesting lessons only succeed when supported by a consistent PBIS system. Without clear expectations and a respectful culture, high-energy students are unlikely to learn. These observations also showed me the importance of maintaining instruction so all students have access to learning, while still reinforcing behavioral expectations. The first teacher earned students’ respect by calmly holding boundaries, while the second fell into power struggles that eroded trust and set a negative tone for the entire class. This experience shifted my perspective by showing me that just and equitable teaching begins with creating a respectful classroom culture where structure and trust allow all students to learn.

5. Reflections on your propensity to learn and personal growth throughout the course.

 

• Where do you notice growth in the learning process? 

I have grown in that I now better understand my “why” after observing teacher–student interactions through a social justice lens. Equitable and inclusive education extends from broad classroom values down to the micro-level of daily expectations and how teachers enforce them. Students respond differently when they feel respected and prioritized as learners, rather than labeled as “bad students.” While students certainly contribute to classroom culture, their reactions to teachers are developmentally normal.

I have also become more open to criticism. I know my own practices will be observed and critiqued, just as I’ve been critical of the classrooms I’ve seen. Instead of resisting, I want to hear feedback regularly. I’ve noticed it benefits me to step back in chaotic situations, rather than try to control them, and to accept that true classroom control comes from education, preparation, and observation, not force.

• How are you becoming more aware of your strengths and areas for growth as a future teacher?

As I mentioned before, one area I need to grow in is control. My instinct under stress has always been to hide or try to control situations in unproductive ways, which only prolongs the stress. Isolation is often my default response, but I know it prevents real growth. As a teacher, I will face challenges in many forms, some I can’t yet anticipate, and I need to learn to face them rather than retreat.

At the same time, I see my hyperawareness—shaped by the environments I grew up in—as a strength. I can use it to read the room, notice students’ needs, and adjust my teaching practices. But I also recognize that being “the adult in the room” means channeling that awareness into productive action, not avoidance.

• How does your propensity to learn (curiosity, persistence, openness) connect to your development of teaching identity?

I believe I will be a lifelong learner. I’ve never been satisfied with linear learning paths, and persistence has been at the heart of my personal journey. It has taken me 19 years to pursue teaching, not because of lack of effort, but because survival had to come first. I often felt like the least experienced academically, since I had to prioritize housing and food over schooling. Ironically, I completed my bachelor’s during lockdown—the only time I had both the money and the time.

I once dreamed of transferring to UC Berkeley or San Francisco State, even visiting both campuses. But financial instability, unreliable transportation, and lack of housing support prevented me from pursuing those opportunities. I even lived in my car at one point. While painful, these experiences shaped the teacher I want to be: someone who supports students so they can see possibilities beyond their current struggles.

After reflecting, I realize that I am more prepared to be that teacher now than I would have been in my twenties. My persistence and survival have given me perspective and empathy. I know some students will face similar challenges where survival takes precedence over potential. I want to model persistence for them and help them believe in their capacity to keep going, even when the odds feel overwhelming.