Module 1: E-Journal #1

 1. Key Ideas or questions from the reading connected to course goals.

 What ideas or arguments stood out most to you in this week's materials?

In the handout, "Students: Habits of Mind Explanation", the first habit is "metacognition", or "thinking about our thinking" (Costa, Kallick, and Zmuda). Metacognition is a habit that is largely ignored as a skill- humans react and reflect, and we take it from there. Still, it is not common to think strategically before engaging in a conversation or activity to the point of habit. Having self-awareness in this way takes time and "training". We take reactivity for granted, even though it is unreliable and can cause more issues than needed. When we are arguing with a loved one, for example, we simply respond to each other, over and over, until one person "wins". However, metacognition is a skill that many therapists teach couples so that during arguments, they don't seek to "win" but to address the original issue together, as a team.  This involves a delicate balance of having your perspective heard while considering how your conversation (or argument) partner may be feeling. 

How do these connect to the larger goals of this course (equity, diversity, access)?

Metacognition is something that is learned, right? But it is also a skill that empowers students, especially multilingual learners from marginalized backgrounds, to see their lived experiences as valid interpretive lenses. Access through self-awareness sounds like a given, but if I am to establish a culture of access in my classroom, it is that a diversity of experiences contributes to a student's overall interpretation of a concept or reading. This diversity of experiences that shape a student's learning can also instill metacognition as a skill that students have in their toolbox when they enter society. It encourages students to notice not just their own thought processes, but also the ways diverse peers approach reading and writing tasks, and encourages collaboration through the exchange of ideas. Why might my classmate feel this way about this subject and have this perspective? What strategy did my peer use to make sense of this text? Why does my classmate feel differently, or so strongly, about this issue? Equity through these metacognitive strategies allows students to become aware of how they learn, not just what they learn. In a sense, this habit "levels the playing field" for those who may not have had the same prior exposure to academic skills or language at home. Affirming diverse perspectives in interpretation fosters a culture of inclusive dialogue in my classroom. 

How do you see these ideas influencing your thinking as a future teacher in your subject area?

In "Not Light, But Fire", the author writes about the "safe space" and moving from a declaration that a teacher makes ("this is a 'safe space'") that has no weight to building conversational safe spaces with intention. "The problem (with listening patiently) is that too many of us frame the rule as more disciplinary necessity than skill development" (Kay, 18). Relating this to metacognition, part of building a safe space is teaching the student the skills of active listening and self-awareness. It is a small block in a proverbial pyramid where the related skill of metacognition is the peak, but it is necessary for building the skill of metacognition, and for teaching students how to think about why they, and others, feel what they feel when another student is talking. Why, a student might ask, do I feel this way? Why does this anger me? Why does this bring me joy? What am I projecting onto this conversation/assignment/topic?

Kay's thoughts on the conversational safe space also influence my own metacognitive habits. As an English teacher, I already have a chorus of authors, poets, playwrights, characters, instructors, and people I have met and spoken to influencing my thoughts and ideas. I also have the privilege of seeing ideas change over time, both as a lived experience and through reading real or imagined people who contribute to the constant chatter in my head. When I speak on something, I can be mistaken for thinking that I am the ultimate authority on the ("my") subject. But much as I love to read stories, I also value listening to others' stories and lives greatly. I will never know what a student endures every day, even if I have experienced similar circumstances. The minute details of students' lives influence their reception of others' ideas. When we are young, we think that others can't possibly know what it feels like to "be me". But as we use metacognitive strategies throughout life, we realize how wrong we were to think this way through interacting with other people. And society is unforgiving- the opposite of the kind of teacher I want to be. Metacognition is not just a tool they can use in their academic life, but a habit that can help them learn about life. 

3. How your attitudes about diverse learners or communities have evolved.

What assumptions or beliefs are being challenged for you?

Kay makes a strong point about hubris- the idea that well-meaning teachers sometimes insert themselves into conversations about race in ways that unintentionally offend students and undermine the "safe space" we're trying to create. He explains that safety in a classroom isn't a given, but must be intentionally built through community. Students need to feel safe to share ideas, disagree respectfully, engage in current events, and hear different perspectives. But Kay reminds us that teachers must check their hubris at the door if they ever hope to gain the students' trust around sensitive topics. "We must, if we value our students' right to determine healthy relationships, never accept invitations unless they have been proffered. We must, through earnest humility, earn our seats"(29). Ignoring this insight can destabilize classroom culture, because students are not simply receptacles for information. Earning our seat is harder work, but it's also the path to authentic respect.

How has your perspective on just, equitable, and inclusive education shifted this week?

My perspective has shifted in subtle but meaningful ways. Reading Kay's strategies, and experiencing what I did at the high school I was employed at previously has nudged my moral compass and helped me reflect on how my background shaped my assumptions. I grew up around educators at every level, from Head Start to higher education. But I also grew up around trauma, which is a whole other story altogether. Many of my relatives, who taught in urban schools, often complained: "These kids just don't want to learn/listen/stop talking/take their education seriously". Without realizing it, I carried those attitudes into my role as an instructional aide at first. 

But reality hit me almost immediately. Within the first two months, we lost a student in a very traumatic way, and I watched tough students break down emotionally. At the same time, violence around campus became routine: multiple car accidents in the school zone, two shootings near the yard, and students robbed at gunpoint in the pickup line. One student suffered a panic attack after her phone was stolen, terrified because she couldn't find her little sister and no longer had a phone to call her. However, students normalized trauma like this so much that they laughed as they ran inside the building. 

These experiences made me reconsider my relatives' perspective. While I grew up "hood", South Central students were carrying layers of trauma on top of trauma. Why would they prioritize school when they were constantly in survival mode? My own history of trauma helped me see their behaviors not as laziness or disrespect, but as survival responses. 

So while my perspective began shifting before this reading, Kay's words gave me language and strategies to process those experiences and tie them to my own behavior as a teen. This knowledge is endlessly valuable to me, and has humbly re-shaped my approach when working with students in urban schools.

How might this evolving awareness shape the way you think about and design lessons in your subject area?

Kay writes. "Each idea can inspire another, can inform, can be the reason that no two conversations are exactly the same...students are eventually encouraged to cite each other in essays as reliable sources, as fellow experts, when such citations are appropriate" (20). I plan to use this strategy to validate the diversity of student experiences as legitimate interpretive lenses. In my future ELA classroom, this means treating lived experience as a form of expertise and worthy of academic recognition.

Students might be hesitant to share personal insights at first, which is understandable. But with intentional strategies to build safety, I can design lessons where every voice is heard and every lived experience is acknowledged as a part of our collective learning. My evolving awareness means I see lesson design not only as teaching "skills", but as honoring the realities my students bring into the room.